Hawaiian Reeves

Hawaiian likes it rough.Or so my friends would tell you. And they would be right, at least when talking about my love of women that other people might find hard to look at. It’s not intentional, really, and there’s no reason to it, but I definitely like the girls who look a bit roughed up. Or who look like they could maybe rough me up. And the list is long.

I can’t deny that I get a strange feeling when I look at Lisa Marie Presley or Clea Duvall. I can be the willing captive of Traci Lords, Shannen Doherty and even Michelle Rodriguez if the price and hour are right. I have even been known to indulge in some Diana Krall or Fairuza Balk in a pinch, or to spend an hour alone with the cast of The Young and Restless just to get a fix. (For the record, I think their casting director suffers from the same affliction.)

And if I’m honest, it extends a bit beyond my love for the ladies. There have been phases when I’ve liked both Kerr Smith and Peyton Manning, for example, and there was a time not so long ago that I found myself inexplicably watching Inventing the Abbotts over and over again until I realized I was just doing it to be hit by the Joaquin Phoenix.

And yet, despite having plenty of options for indulging this strangest of vices, no one can satisfy this particular craving quite like… (more…)

Hawaiian is afraid that when he’s buried, it will be under a pile of clean but neglected laundry.

Which is where I’m really hoping my cordless phone is right now because I need to make a call and the cordless is my only option for doing that with a headset. And the headset is key, really, because as it is one of my ears is already closer to my head than the other thanks to years spent perpetually on the phone in high school. Seriously. And yet, I might break down and use the other phone anyway because my slight weakness for reality TV reminded me this morning that just a couple of years ago, I was unfortunately propositioned (and felt up) at a charity event by this man: (more…)