Hawaiian Reeves

Hawaiian has decided that he could definitely use a bit less screen time these days.

Between the countless hours I spend bonding with my laptop and the too many days of my life occupied with surfing channels instead of waves, I’m starting to wonder what exists of me that hasn’t come from my television, been on my television, or will be on my television if I just give it enough time. (Before I get any deeper into this, I just need to give a Hawaiian-style shout out to my girl Melissa, who was rocking some heels, cargo pants, and a fantastic ass at a bar on Friday night. It was, as always, a pleasure.)

And now back to our regularly scheduled blog post…

So yes, I’m pretty sure I might be too heavily influenced by my TV, but there might be some reciprocity involved here because parts of my life have been appearing onscreen for as long as I can remember. Take, for example, (more…)

If he’s honest, Hawaiian has to admit that he can usually be described as an “ice freak” during the Winter Olympics, but this year Hawaiian finds himself giving the Games nothing but a cold shoulder.

I realized just how bad it was last night when I caught myself watching the elimination of Danielle (of “Gonzalez Eye” fame) from Beauty and the Geek instead of watching moguls or speed skating or whatever else was on last night. I felt like a traitor. Like someone who doesn’t care about his country. Like someone who won’t be able to discuss all of the drama of figure skating with the other gays. I felt like someone who would never learn the rules and intricacies of curling, and that made me sad.

It was the same feeling I had four years ago when a friend booked my flights to NYC for a weekend and had me on a plane during the entire telecast of the Oscars back when the Oscars mattered and the world didn’t have TiVo. I was a cultural outcast for weeks afterward and my current Olympic-sized apathy for all things gold, silver, and bronze is threatening to do the same thing. Except, of course, that the Olympics kinda suck this year, and everyone knows it.

So why do the Olympics suck? (more…)