Hawaiian Reeves

***Hawaiian would like to warn his readers that this post contains content intended for an adult audience, and may not be suitable for young children, social conservatives, or graduates of Liberty University.***

So it’s probably no surprise to most of you that nearly all of the fish I’ve thrown back in the dating pool for the last few years have been caught in online wells. Believe it or not, I’m actually quite shy in groups of people despite looking more like a bouncer than a club kid, and since I don’t really drink and I can look at profiles during commercial breaks(because we’ve established that I don’t have TiVo), going to bars with the hope of meeting someone worth meeting seems really inefficient, frankly. Of course, I can dismiss a bar filled with 50 guys who spent their weekend doing meth a bit more quickly than I can get through 50 profiles of guys whose pictures predate their PNP days, but when given the option, I’m going to argue for whatever form of effiency allows me to be a homebody.

Which is precisely how I started watching my latest soon-to-be-convicted pleasure, Log In For Love. This new TLC show follows women on both coasts as they navigate the seas of online dating, and in more than one case, I’d say their ships are sinking. I’m also not entirely sure that any of them have lifeboats. (more…)

Hawaiian is officially losing touch with reality.

So I had this really annoying roommate in college who would preface all of his arguments by saying “But do you know what the reality is? Let me tell you what the reality is…” But he didn’t have a clue about reality. He was a nudist/atheist who had briefly joined the Mormon church so that he could go on a mission for fun, and he’s one of those people who is destined to either join a cult or try to found one because he needs a common cause in order for anyone to spend time with him. But whatever he learned during his two years in Paraguay didn’t teach him anything about reality. He doesn’t know reality the way I do. Because even if that guy actually did manage to trick someone into giving him a job that paid him actual money, I know he didn’t buy a TV. And how is anyone supposed to get in touch with reality if that doesn’t happen through their television?

The last couple of nights have involved 2 episodes of American Idol, the finale of Project Runway, the series premiere of 8th & Ocean, the series premiere of Top Chef, the premiere of the latest cycle of America’s Next Top Model, the first two episodes of that new TLC show about the “little people” family, two plastic surgery documentaries, a makeover show, and yes, I’ll admit it… I even watched the latest episode of Miami Ink. I think I’ve officially achieved reality TV overdose. And oh, I think I may have watched a few minutes of The Amazing Race. I don’t know anymore. it’s all become a blur with a voiceover coming out of a floating Tyra Banks.
Not that it helps much, but I’m only watching Idol because, well, I happen to enjoy the company I keep while doing so. (more…)