Hawaiian Reeves

At times, a movie comes along that touches Hawaiian in his special place, and such movies must be remembered.

And since exactly none of the movies at this year’s Academy Awards touched me anywhere at all, I thought I might as well share some of them with you. Five in all. We’ll pretend they make up their own category and possibly name it later. Suggestions are appreciated.

Before getting into it, I should give you a better idea of what these movies really are. These are not, for example, the safe choices one might list as favorites on a Friendster profile while hoping others don’t find you either weird or boring. (Mine: Trick, Houseboat, Giant, Sixteen Candles, Elizabeth, Clueless, Dangerous Liasons, and Best in Show) Nor are they the kind of movies I might love in secret but never admit to anyone who doesn’t already know me. (Again, in the spirit of sharing: The Parent Trap, The Cutting Edge, Flashdance, Center Stage, I Love Trouble, most Elvis movies including Clambake, Blue Hawaii, and It Happened at the World’s Fair, the John Wayne films with Maureen O’Hara, and When in Rome, a very special straight-to-video release starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson.)

No, these movies do not belong on either of these lists. These movies are like trying to explain my love for Curb Your Enthusiasm or Wesley Willis. (If you don’t know Wesley, Chickencow and I Whooped Batman’s Ass are two personal favorites.) My relationship with these movies could be as inexplicable as my love for Nicolette Sheridan, as deep as my affection for Project Runway, or as shameful as my true appreciation for any bad picture of Ashlee Simpson. Which, I suppose, means that each of these is, in its own way, a little glimpse into the inner workings of my own little Hawaiian-shaped soul.

So here they are the nominees for..(whatever we’re calling this) (more…)