It’s a cruel, cruel summer…
(to those of you who still have added your complaints/criticisms of the site, its layout, and content to my previous post, please, please do so before the Hawaiian Times begin a changin’. You know how rarely I beg, so consider it your duty to be part of the movement for progress. After all, if you’re not part of the solution…)
So for those who’ve been paying attention to the lack of updates around here, it’s probably pretty clear that Hawaiian has had a bad case of page fright recently.
And I’m not exactly sure what’s behind it. Maybe it’s the growing headache I’ve had for the past three weeks. Maybe it’s the morning sunlight that pours in through the cracks between my white blinds and bounces off of my white walls and reflects back from the white sheets and reminds me that truly, at the end of the day, I really am living in an institution. Maybe it’s because my car wouldn’t start today for absolutely no discernible reason. Maybe it’s because Kimberly didn’t participate in the Real Housewives reunion show or because I had to deal with too much Nicole Jamrose on Nashville Star or too much Taylor on American Idol. Maybe I’m not eating enough fiber or drinking enough beer. Or maybe I’m just a little bit sad that my current infatuation is leaving at the end of this week and will be gone for most of the summer, which means three entire months without that which has become my new favorite thing. I know, I know… there are phones, webcams, instant messages, email, and a host of other ways to reach out and touch someone between San Francisco and New York, but he and I seem to work best when separated by no more than arm’s length. After all, he was only three feet away when I recently said that I adore him, and he, in his wide-eyed, wide-browed, Dr. Suess character sort of way, looked at me and said with not an ounce of guile, “But why?”
Why indeed.
Anyway, for the rest of you who need to spend some time this Sunday convincing your mother that she is indeed someone that you adore, I wish you good luck and a reminder that while last-minute flowers might cost a small fortune, an online gift certificate might be just what you need to say “I love you” on time and with great efficiency. And if you’re not really in the mood to celebrate Mother’s Day this year, spend some time with MTV and see if they serve up a few episodes of Yo Momma or Date My Mom. If that doesn’t make you appreciate your own mother a bit more, maybe she really doesn’t deserve the holiday.
Favorite joke from a recent episode of Yo Momma?
“Yo Momma’s so bald, she took a shower and got brainwashed.”
You know, if my receding hairline doesn’t slow down sometime soon, one day might kids might end up hearing a similar joke about me.