Hawaiian Reeves

Hawaiian would like to make it known that if anyone is looking, he is currently accepting offers to become a live-in gay visionary.

So one of my summer obsessions has been watching Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List, and if I’m honest, even though I find her a bit hard to look at (or maybe because of that) I think I’d be willing to live in Kathy’s house and help her plan parties and buy furniture.  I mean, with Matt now officially being her ex-husband, she could probably use a large, non-threatening man around the house.  I’m unlikely to steal large sums of money, I’m likely much better than a curling iron, I wouldn’t be threatened by her relationships with the other gays, and frankly, I have a lot more hair than he did.  Actually, this could be a very good arrangement for me if I think about it;  I’d have access to a personal assistant, plenty of barely-famous people to talk to, and a much, much better dating life than the one I currently have.

Speaking of which, I had a date this weekend that I truly wish I could forget.  Normally when I say something like that it’s because the date itself went horrifically wrong in some way that has left me scarred and damaged and will haunt me in dreams and daymares for years to come.  Case in point:  Just last summer, in a move that was a bit out of character, I agreed to have lunch with a man who was, at least according to his profile, somewhat old than I might normally date.  I was just inside the range of his Half Plus Seven, but it was still a close call.  Anyway, I drove up to meet him for lunch, fully expecting to find a respectable, attractive ex-marine in his mid-forties with all of his teeth and a stocky but decent body.  This, however, is not what greeted me at the door. (more…)

Today, Hawaiian has decided to share a bit of himself with you, his fans.

Since I can’t seem to get many of you to actually leave comments on here, I’m taking desperate measures… I’m posting a picture of myself. Thankfully, this is a self I have long since outgrown and barely recognize, but if this doesn’t get more than a total of two comments, I may give up and shut the blog down forever. Seriously, people, I know these are just my ramblings but they still take more time to write than they do to read, so in the words of the hopefully mortal Steve Harvey, show some love. And leave some comments. Also, phone calls explaining that you couldn’t comment because you read the postings on your smartphone or PDA will not be accepted. That’s really not the sort of PDA I’m looking for here. That’s right, people… I want is for you to reach out and touch me right here on the blog.
So it turns out that the guy threatening to excavate my mind has decided he doesn’t have the tools required for the dig. Last night, I got a long and oddly worded explanation of how really, anything that happened between us was bound to be too intense because of our personalities, and that he doesn’t have a “facility for my sense of humor” which was apparently too dark for him. I can’t believe anyone would ever think that I have a dark sense of humor.

This however, is the least of my problems on the romantic front. (more…)