Hawaiian Reeves

Hawaiian is afraid that when he’s buried, it will be under a pile of clean but neglected laundry.

Which is where I’m really hoping my cordless phone is right now because I need to make a call and the cordless is my only option for doing that with a headset. And the headset is key, really, because as it is one of my ears is already closer to my head than the other thanks to years spent perpetually on the phone in high school. Seriously. And yet, I might break down and use the other phone anyway because my slight weakness for reality TV reminded me this morning that just a couple of years ago, I was unfortunately propositioned (and felt up) at a charity event by this man: (more…)

Hawaiian is a little bit concerned for himself.

I think everyone knows the VH1 reality shows can be pretty painful, but that didn’t stop me from sitting through two seasons of watching the Snapple Lady complain that the world is stacked against her, and this is why she can’t exercise or stay away from her refrigerator, and it certainly hasn’t stopped me from watching Chastity Bono begin to sweat off her childhood in the butchest way known to man during the current season. (more…)