Hawaiian Reeves

Hawaiian would like to make it known that if anyone is looking, he is currently accepting offers to become a live-in gay visionary.

So one of my summer obsessions has been watching Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List, and if I’m honest, even though I find her a bit hard to look at (or maybe because of that) I think I’d be willing to live in Kathy’s house and help her plan parties and buy furniture.  I mean, with Matt now officially being her ex-husband, she could probably use a large, non-threatening man around the house.  I’m unlikely to steal large sums of money, I’m likely much better than a curling iron, I wouldn’t be threatened by her relationships with the other gays, and frankly, I have a lot more hair than he did.  Actually, this could be a very good arrangement for me if I think about it;  I’d have access to a personal assistant, plenty of barely-famous people to talk to, and a much, much better dating life than the one I currently have.

Speaking of which, I had a date this weekend that I truly wish I could forget.  Normally when I say something like that it’s because the date itself went horrifically wrong in some way that has left me scarred and damaged and will haunt me in dreams and daymares for years to come.  Case in point:  Just last summer, in a move that was a bit out of character, I agreed to have lunch with a man who was, at least according to his profile, somewhat old than I might normally date.  I was just inside the range of his Half Plus Seven, but it was still a close call.  Anyway, I drove up to meet him for lunch, fully expecting to find a respectable, attractive ex-marine in his mid-forties with all of his teeth and a stocky but decent body.  This, however, is not what greeted me at the door. (more…)

(to those of you who still have added your complaints/criticisms of the site, its layout, and content to my previous post, please, please do so before the Hawaiian Times begin a changin’.  You know how rarely I beg, so consider it your duty to be part of the movement for progress.  After all, if you’re not part of the solution…)

So for those who’ve been paying attention to the lack of updates around here, it’s probably pretty clear that Hawaiian has had a bad case of page fright recently.

And I’m not exactly sure what’s behind it.  Maybe it’s the growing headache I’ve had for the past three weeks.  Maybe it’s the morning sunlight that pours in through the cracks between my white blinds and bounces off of my white walls and reflects back from the white sheets and reminds me that truly, at the end of the day, I really am living in an institution.  Maybe it’s because (more…)